April is Cesarean Awareness Month.
I wanted to spend some time dedicating this blog to all the Cesarean moms out there who do not feel seen and they often hear they somewhat failed birth.
Despite being a birth worker, I often feel the same.
Emotional are the moments when I may be randomly talking to a stranger and she would comment in awe about how my small body managed to make, carry and birth 4 children. I am 5’4″ after all.
It took me a while to stop cringing at the idea that I would have a whole month to talk about what I feared most about my own birth experiences. But here I am with 3 out of 4 Cesarean Births under my belt (no pun intended)!
I realize that there is so much work to do to erase the stigma and shame Cesarean mothers bring home from the operating room. This is what Cesarean Awareness Month is all about.
Some mothers feel like they had missed out because their baby is delivered to them and they end up having to take a ‘passive’ role in the birth process.
Some feel that it is a crime to not being able to be the first person to hold your own baby. While a complete stranger has not only just opened your core wide, but has also the privilege to see your baby first.
The idyllic picture we had created in our own mind of birthing as smoothly as mama deer to her baby Bambi, gets crumbled into pieces and replaced by weeks of painful physical and emotional recovery.
There is so much shame that is unnecessarily poured over Cesarean moms, despite Cesarean Awareness Month! Mostly because the birth world seems to be divided into ‘the natural way’ vs ‘the non-natural way’. Cesarean births have sadly a very bad rep. Even when having a belly birth might have simply saved mom’s or baby’s life.
But we have to remember that this is not what birth is about. And anyone who has promised you something different is cruel and ignorant.
Birth is about being flexible. Staying open minded. Learning to let go of our ego and prioritizing the best for our baby. No matter how painful it might feel.
Ultimately this is what parenting is all about. With that my hopes is that we can raise our children without constantly feeling the gloom of their entrance into this world. Without constantly wonder what it could have been if all the pieces of puzzle had aligned perfectly to create the perfect picture of the outcome we had in our minds. Without feeling that we have to constantly explain ourselves or prove that we are good parents, strong birthers and knowledgeable about our bodies and choices.
Cesarean awareness month is about creating a dialog to consider all the different aspects of birth and offer the chance for a little bit of healing for all the ceserean parents out there.
We, Cesarean moms learn this lesson in a rush of adrenaline and blood. But we are fast learners and gain the wisdom of motherhood even before meeting our babies.
I had grand plans for my offerings; but life is hilarious sometimes and my experience has become a safe landing for other mothers who feel unsupported and forgotten by the birth community.
If this is one of you, please reach out.
My heart and arms are wide open for you. I stand with you on precipitous and tumultuous days that we have to face despite having healthy babies and still dealing with our own healing. Cesarean Awareness Month is for you to remember that you are not forgotten.
For inquiries about my availability during Cesarean Awareness Month and any other month please reach out here